Method of Using a Water Pipe
patent#: US 7122000
I had heard of snorting coke off of a strippers tits, but taking a bong hit out of her vagina?
This "water pipe providing sexual stimulation" seems to be just too depraved to be true. In instances such as this, I find it best to let the patent do the talking:
"The lower end cooperates with the wall of the vagina to form a water reservoir holding water in the lower end and the vagina. A stem is received into the inlet port with an end opening submerged in the water reservoir. Suction applied at the exit port draws air through the stem to bubble through the water reservoir to generate stimulatory vibrations transmitted to the vagina. Optionally, a bowl holding combustible material communicates with the stem such that smoke bubbles through the water reservoir to simultaneously filter and cool the smoke and generate stimulatory vibrations."
I don't doubt that the experience is pleasurable, but pleasurable enough for a woman to allow bong water in her vagina? Perhaps the only thing not surprising about this patent is that it was invented in Vegas. Hopefully, it will stay there.
Penile Volumetric Measuring Device
patent#: US 7147609
Penis size: For too long (puns are inevitable when discussing the subject), it has escaped the rigorous analysis of modern science and has been left prone to self-serving exaggeration. Thankfully, one fearless inventor has arrived to clear the field of biased pseudoscience:
"Throughout history, there has been discussion and focus on the human male sex organ. Generally, having a large penis is seen as more masculine and manly than having a small penis. Well-endowed male pornography stars are looked at by many with admiration and envy due to the size of their penis."
"there is a remarkable lack of convenient and accurate methods for measuring the penis. Most men merely take a ruler and measure the size of their penis in inches. However, to adequately describe the size of a penis the length alone is not enough. Nor is it enough to know the diameter at an arbitrary point. The penis is not shaped like a true cylinder, but rather it has a more complicated shape. Therefore, a method for measuring the size of a penis needs to account for the unusual shape and size of the human penis."
In the short 22 centuries since Archimedes first shouted Eureka from his bathtub, inventor Jason Turner has applied the same techniques of fluid displacement to accurately measure the one-eyed trouser snake.
Of course, scientific breakthroughs can often be met with fierce resistance: Knowledge is power, but the truth, if small enough, can hurt.
Cross USB Drive
patent#: US D533179
Because Jesus saves.
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